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Posts:
8
Registered:
1/11/08
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Re: HELP CONTROLLING INLAWS
Mar 11, 2008 5:39 PM
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Thank you for repling to my post. No one had responded which made me think that I was the only one who has controllig inlaws. but that wasnt the case with you I'm so thankful that you responded. Well let me get to the point. What ive done is explianed to my hubby how was feeling and he took charge to tell his family what they were doing was disrespectful. It was hard at first to get him to be on my side because he was agreeing with his mother.He thought just because his mom has children she knows what shes talking about and I totally disagree. It got so bad that I was going to end our relationship. So i decided to purchased a book called on becoming a babywise and asked him to read it. After he read it he finally startet to agree with me on putting the baby on a schedule. His family dont visit much because they now how I feel but when the time comes I just hope and Pray that they respect my parental skills.
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Posts:
67
Registered:
11/6/07
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Re: HELP CONTROLLING INLAWS
Feb 28, 2008 9:46 PM
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Girl, you have got to go read this thread that I found under infant life. It is called backseat parenting take 2. Lots of talk in that one. It is from december, but may have some suggestions to help. I wrote a long response to you a few days ago but it got flagged for some reason saying that i said something bad and the moderator had to look at it before it got posted. i dont know what i said because there weren't any cuss words or anything. I dont even know if it has been looked at yet, but anyway. A lot of poeple relate to you. I cant even tell you how frustrated I was at my in laws and other extended family. They couldnt stop criticizing me and talking behind my back about me and they would do things with Logan without asking me what i wanted to do. I was living with them while my hubby was working in a different city. I finally told him crying my eyes out that i wasnt staying at grams anymore and that when he came home for the weekend i was going to pack up our stuff and go with him when he went back to work. Anyway, i remember one of my suggestions of the post was to enlist your hubby to be on your side. Your in laws are being totally disrespectful to you and your house and family. it isnt their house, it is your household. If they dont respect you maybe they will listen and obey better if hubby says something about it. it is soo sad but sometimes it happens that way. Oh and another point i made was that when your baby doesnt eat or sleep at the usual time then they are crabbier and you are left to deal with a cranky baby while gramps and grams say bye see ya later. it isnt cool. so maybe if you bring that up they may begin to realize what they are doing. Do you just show up at peoples houses unannounced when you have been asked to call first? no, because it is rude. they are totally treating you like you dont matter. you are the mom not gramma or grampa and they need to accept that. I am sooo frustrated that they are treating you like that. I hope things get better and hubby supports you and doesnt get defensive about his parents. Take care!
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Posts:
248
Registered:
4/6/07
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Re: HELP CONTROLLING INLAWS
Feb 25, 2008 5:53 PM
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Stand firm on the "call first" policy. I would go as far to lock the door and not answer it(disconnect the doorbell) if they can't understand. Different generations have different ways of doing things. One thing in common you have is you all love your baby. Develop the thickest skin you can, and realize you are the mommy, and what you decide is it. The calmer you are, the easier it will be, but I know... my inlaws made my blood boil a few times, but their hearts were in the right place. A couple clearly written letters worked better than outright bickering... that way thoughts were clear and not off track by emotions raging.
--
Lora-35, Joe-42
Flynn Joseph, son-born 4-7-07
www.ronpaul2008.com
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Posts:
8
Registered:
1/11/08
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Feb 22, 2008 2:22 PM
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MY INLAWS TRY TO CONTROL THE WAY I CHOOSE TO RAISE MY NEWBORN, ITS DRIVING ME CRAZY. I HAVE A SCHEDULE AND LIKE TO FOLLOW IT BUT EVERYTIME MY INLAWS VISIT MY SCHEDULE DOESNT WORK. THEY DISAGREE WITH MY SCHEDULE. IVE TRIED TO EXPLAINED TO THEM RESPECTLY THE BABY SCHEDULE BUT THEY DONT UNDERSTAND. THEY WANT TO VISIT WHEN THEY FEEL LIKE IT AND NOT RESPECT MY PARENTING SKILLS. THEY FEEL LIKE THE BABY SHOULDNT HAVE A SCHEDULE AND I SHOULD LET THEM DO WHATEVER THEY WANT WITH MY BABY. HELP PLEASE HOW MANY MOMMIES HAD THIS PROBLEM AND HOW DID YOU SOLVE? I'M NOT FINDING A SOLUTION!!!!!!
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